It's been awhile since I posted a story on my blog. Hopefully, my comeback won't disappoint.
As you can see in the title, I mention birds. Well, here is my bird history.
My first interaction with a bird is when I was a child. I was about 7 or so and my two brothers were about 10 and 11. We were playing outside with a neighborhood friend when my brother brings over a baby bird. We were all told story of how the mother bird would kick the babies out of the nest in order for them to learn how to fly. We knew, we just had to help this bird fly into the bright blue sky. So, my brother runs in house and grabs a bed sheet from the linen closet. He comes outside, we spread out the sheet on the grass. My other brother gently places the bird in the middle of the sheet. We each grab a corner and slowly raise the sheet up. On the count of three, lets left the sheet quickly over our heads, which will fling the bird in the air, in hopes that the bird will then learn how to fly and the sheet will soften the landing if the bird didn't fly on the first try. So one, two, three. We all yell fly birdie fly. The bird goes up, but quickly comes down. Still determined, one, two, three. fly birdie fly. Again, even being flung in the air the bird doesn't even attempt to fly. Disappointed at our attempts, we tried one last time, we see the bird go up, but at that moment we all realized there is something very wrong. The bird was very limp. As the bird, drops into the sheet. We placed the sheet back on the grass, and to our shock and horror, the back of the birds head was actually touching the tail feathers. We in fact, killed this bird. We ended up spending that day burying this poor baby bird.
My second interaction with a bird was my brothers parakeet. I was about 8 or 9, when I was placed in charge of taking care of my brother's parakeet and gerbils, while they were away at Boy Scots camping. So, each day, I feed both the parakeet and gerbils feeling like a very grown up girl, helping my brother with his pets. My brothers came home and my brother went to check on his parakeet and gerbils. As we all approach the cage, the bird was sitting there, and then all of a sudden falls off the perch and slams down to the floor of the cage, with his little legs standing straight in the air. Our mouths open, oh my god! My brother said, didn't you feed my bird? As I exclaimed YES! I quickly grabbed the box to show him that there was less food then what was in there when he left for camping. He looked at me, and said Kim, this is the gerbil food not the parakeet food. You killed the bird. OMG! Of course my brothers torture me growing up and even to this day, talk about how I killed the bird.
After those two incidents, I always felt like other birds knew what I did, and after watching the movie "The birds" by Alfred Hitchcock didn't help my mind set. Growing up, I felt like they were always seeking revenge, in the form of bird shit. I was always told that it was good luck but, if you are a recipient of bird do-do, you get over the lucky part real quick. Ok, so you are saying to yourself, everybody has had this happened to them, Yes, I'm sure at one point of your life, you have had this happened to you, But, I'm not talking one, two or three times I am talking dozens of times. So, while I was writing this portion of the blog. I checked the internet to see if there was an information about the odds, and sure enough there was, it stated there is a 15% chance while walking and 25% while seated. All of my bird "accidents" have happened while walking. Looking back at my odds it was more like 30% chance while walking around, that I was going to get splatted on.
One time, stands out more than the rest. I was walking into the grocery store with my mom, and we were walking side by side, I turned and looked up at my mom to say something, and she turn to looking at me, when out of no where bird shit hits my face. We both stopped. I was in shock, because it was all over my face and hair and in my mouth. I have never in my life had seen so much. After the shock, my mother began to laugh, to a point where she was bent over, and people were looking at us, and I'm still looking like Carrie when she had the pig's blood poured over her at the prom. We turned around, and got back in the car and I didn't think my mom would be able to drive us home because by now we are both laughing uncontrollably and even said, "what are the odds"? Quickly I ran into the house so I could clean my face, hair and brush my teeth, and I remember just taken shot after shot of Listerine.
So, these stories are funny on their own merit however like a ice cream sundae there is always a cherry. This story is the cherry.
My mother and I went to Universal Studio's in Florida. There was a "bird" show, my Mom said lets go, and I was like, nah lets pass. My mom, knowing my bird history said, "Kim, what can happen?" I said," yeah you are right!" It's was a seat yourself type of show, so I said, lets sit here. It wasn't close to the front but not too far so we couldn't see the bird tricks. The bird show commences and they are doing all kinds of tricks, talking, riding bicycles, very cute and light hearted. Then the trainer makes an announcement, Molly (very large colorful bird) will now fly to Sally who is standing in the back of the theater, my heart starts to pound as I make a squeal noise. I quickly turn to see where Sally was standing and she is far away from me, so I had a sigh of relief. Then the trainer says, she will then fly to Judy who was located at the opposite side of the theater. Again, I squeal and then I quickly turned and looked for Judy, and again was relieved because she is far away from me. The trainer goes on to say, then Molly will fly back to me. So, in my mind, I'm thinking ok, I am no way near the path of this trick. My mother reconfirms, by saying "Don't worry, it's going to be OK." So the trainer says, Molly go to Sally. The bird is in flight and it was a very pretty sight. She lands on Sally's arm, the audience applauses. The trainer says Molly go to Judy. We watched as Molly takes off, but now it doesn't look like Molly is heading towards Judy. In fact, Molly is heading my way, I turn around and look at the stage, when all of a sudden the bird hits the top of my head, which pushes my head forward. I scream like there is no tomorrow and at this point dead silence fell over the show. After a few moments, the trainer says "Molly has never done that before". I'm thinking no shit, Molly knows a bird killer when she see's one!!!! Needless, to say after the shock and I was able to gather my nerves, my mom and I walked out laughing, because really what are the odds?
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