Every once and awhile you meet a real life character, and I was lucky enough to meet and become best friends with Alan. Who was for sure an original. In memory of him, I would love to share his stories.
I met Alan thru my roommate who was his Business partner of a 50's style diner, (for which I became a waitress during the weekends). We instantly became friends, and were always together. He was an older gay man, with a heart of gold, and a crazy sense of humor. Here are some of his stories:
Alan lived in a old victorian home, his ex lover lived down stairs with his new boyfriend, and Alan lived upstairs. The first time I was over Alan's house, we were just going to hang out. Sitting at Alan's kitchen table was Alan at the head of the table, our friend Chris (who is African America) diagonal across from Alan, and I was sitting to the left of Alan. We were laughing and having a great time, when all of a sudden Alan looks in Chris's direction, and yells out, "you Black bastard" Chris and I were shocked, I looked at Chris who was looking at me, and then we both looked at Alan, and then looked back at each other. Alan went on to say, "I don't want you in my house. Who told you, you could come into my house!" Then he jumped up, and ran to the open window that was behind Chris, and sitting there was a black cat. Chris and I started laughing, realizing that he wasn't talking to Chris, but to the cat. Then as he continued to yell at the cat, he said, I don't want you in my house! He then threw the cat outside the window. Chris and I gasp, OH MY GOD! I yelled. I went to the window, and there was the cat, on the fire-escape, with this bedding, and toys, and it became obvious that the fire-escape was the cat's hangout. Alan started to laugh and I of course needed to go home and change my undies.
Alan would flirt with anyone, gay, straight, any gender it didn't matter.
We all decided to jump in the car and take off to NYC for the weekend. There was a group of us, and we packed up two cars and we hit the road. Half way to NYC, we decided to stop at a rest stop right off the highway and par-take in some Mckee Dee's. We all got our food, and sat at some tables. We were all laughing and having a good time. I noticed briefly, that Alan had his eye on this guy sitting down, and apparently the man did too. He was a huge, bearded brut of a man, who stood up and came to our table and looked at Alan and said, do you have a problem? We all stopped, and looked up at the man, and no one spoke or even took a breath, and without missing a beat, Alan starts to feel the table. He said, I'm sorry, is someone talking to me? As he started to act like Steve wonder. Alan says Kim, is someone talking to me, and I squealed out, yes. The man, said, Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize, and Alan said, that is ok. The man walks back to his table, we knew before Alan's cover was blown we had to get out of there. So, Alan grab my elbow, and I had to direct him around the table and out the door. We just walked back to the cars, and then busted out laughing Another moment when I needed to go home, and change my undies.
Alan and I hung out almost everyday. On this day, he called me up and said, I have to go to this guys house, do you want to go with me? I said, sure. So, he came and picked me up and off we went. He is driving and we are talking and laughing, and he pulls down this street, and says, I'm not sure of the address, but it's around here somewhere, and we are driving around, and he is looking and looking. I'll know when I see it, I said, Ok. Then he quickly pulled into this driveway. The inside door was open, and a half screen outside door was closed, with a sign that says, beware of dog. Alan turns to me, and says do me a favor, go to the door and ask John to come outside. I was like, why don't you go, he said I have a leg cramp, just ask him to come to the truck. I said Ok. I go to the door, and before I could knock this German Shepard jumps up and is barking and growling I thought I was going to be his next supper. I screamed my head off. This guy comes to the door, and he says, what do you want? I said, is John here. He say's there is no John here. I was like sorry I walked back to the truck, and Alan was in stitches. I said, this isn't the house? He said, no and there isn't even any John. I was like what? You didn't have to meet anyone? Nope. Another moment when I needed to go home, and change my undies.
As I said at the beginning of this post, my roommate was Alan's Business partner at the diner. I would work there on the weekends, and a girl (Lori) who lived upstairs from us was one of the cooks at the dinner. For 6 months every once and awhile Alan would tell me stories about his Uncle who was crazy and institutionalized. Based on the few stories I was told, it's not someone that I would wanted to ever meet. Also during the 6 months, Lori told me a story about how she met him, and she was scared as hell of him. My roommate also told me a story about his encounter with Alan's Uncle. One night, my roommate gets a call. It's a frantic Alan, the Uncle has escaped from the institution, and earlier in the day he had made threats against my roommate, because he was convicted that he was trying to kill him, and so the Uncle was going to get to him first So, Lori's says, Kim come up stairs with me. So, I go with Lori, and we were there for about 20 mins, when we hear banging on the downstairs door I hear, Alan's voice, my roommate voice, banging, and what sounded like pure mayhem and I was like should we call the cops? Lori said, I will call. So, she goes to another room. I am standing in the kitchen. Then my roommate bangs on the door, and yells LET ME IN! I said, Oh my god, So, I go and unlock the door and he quickly comes in and shuts the door behind him. When I hear bang, and it appears someone is trying to push open the door. I started to scream. My roommate moves falls against the wall, and the door swings open, I see what looks to be an old man, so I went running into another room, and he was right behind, I ran into a wall he turned me around, and I'm looking at his face, screaming at the top of my lungs, and I look again, and I looked at his face again, and realized it was an old man Halloween mask. Once again I needed to go home and change my undies.
These are only a few of the many stories I could tell you about my friend Alan. He was truly one of a kind. Your always in my thoughts, my friend.
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