Those who know me, know that I suffer from what I like to call the Bugatti Syndrome, named after the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport car, which mean when pushed, I can go from 0-60 in 2.4 seconds.
This story is an example is the affects of this Syndrome
One sunny day I had an early morning Dentist appointment. The plan was I was going into Dentist, get to work late but still plenty of time to make my meeting. So, off I went went to the Dentist office. The doctor was running late, so I waited, waited, and waited. Then he comes in all happy, like an annoying little dwarf from Snow White, which at this point, I'm feeling like "grumpy" and was about to make him Dopey if he didn't hurry up. So, after a few mins I'm called the room, wait another 10 mins, and out pops Dopey. I expressed, that I was in a hurry, and it's already been over an hour. Ummm, probably, not the brightest thing to say to someone who wheeling a needle and about to place a fist in your mouth. But anyways....
He proceeds to give me a shot, and after a few mins ask me if I can feel this, as he pokes at on of my he teeth, and I said, ummm, I can feel that, so he gives me another shot but missing the place where he wanted, and ended up right under my tongue, and let me say, that worked, because I felt like I had no tongue, and visions of swallowing my tongue briefly came into my mind. So, he had to shoot me up again, so now I have had three shots of Novocain. So, he finishes the filling, I pay and off to work I go, HI..HO.
Well, I'm driving, drooling and the Bugatti syndrome kicks because I am running later than expected, I was going to miss the meeting. I knew, I was never going to hear the end of it, when I got to work. So, I'm driving about 8 miles over the speed limit. I know this, because the city I'm in is known for speed traps, and pulling out guns for no reason. Then yup you guessed it, I look in my rear view mirror only to see blue lights. Ok, I'm in Bugatti overdrive. I quickly pull the car over, and not such a good spot. I get my license, registration. I look in the review mirror, and the cop is just sitting there, and sitting, and sitting, then the door opens and a female cop approaches my car. Ask's for my license and registration, so I hand it to her, and she says "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and as I tried to talk, then I remembered that my tongue is in limp mode, and I said, "Yeths", I was given a curious look, as I was wiping the droll from the side of my mouth. Well, Ms White, Why did I stop you? Feeling now, like I'm two years old. I said, "Cuzth I was dri- ping fazth". "Ms. White, are you having a problem today?" WHOA WHO BUGATTI TIME!!! My response:(which seem to come out so clearly) I wasn't having a problem until you stopped me. Dead Silence. Then she proceeded to give me a lecture about speeding.
The Bugatti can hit a speed of 287mph, I was running about 275. When I said to her "Liz-then, if you are going to gif me a thicket, then give me a thicket. Ob-vis-us, you are going to gif me one any ways". "Ms, White, you see to have an attitude problem. " I rolled my eyes, my head titled back slightly, and I said "UGH". "Ms White, I need you step out of the vehicle". BUGATIIIII hit 287 and a drooling..."WHYYYY???" Came out of my pain-saken mouth. "You seem to be agitated." My response; "You thhhink?" Please step out of the vehicle. As I step out of the car mumbling, really 8 miles over the speed limit, still wiping the drool.
I was asked to step to the back of the vehicle, and place my hands on my trunk. "WHAT????" She grabbed my arm, and said, "for your protect and mine". She pushed me down, on to the trunk, my face plaster against the trunk of course, on the side where I just had my tooth filled. My eye is now watering, droll pouring out. She then tells me to stand straight up, walks me to the passager side, and ask me if she can search my car. I said, "Yeths". As I mumble words, thank god that were not audible. You can tell, she really wasn't doing a search, more of a how much time can I waste move. After her "search", she took the handcuffs off, and told me to step back into my vehicle, as I was sitting there, on full turbo charge, my eye still watering, droll, wrist burns from the handcuffs, tooth killing me. She comes back, and said, "Ms White, sign her on your ticket, Are you going to speed again?" "Yeths, even fast-ther now cuz, I'm really late." Then I pulled a non-commitable peal away.
Looking back on it now....who in this story was the real Dopey?
Kim, again I truly enjoyed reading your post! Too much time between stories! Write more often!
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