King of the Pranks

Hopefully you read "Need to go home and change my undies".  That post was about my friend Alan, who was the King of pranks.   I thought. I would share a few more of this stories.





My first day working at the dinner, he said, did you clock in?  I said, what do I need to do?  He said come over to the register, so I walked over, and he says every time you come in, you have to push this button and talk into the screen, and say Kim reporting to work and you have to do the same when you leave.  He said, ok try it. So, I did, he said, you didn't say it loud enough, so I did it again, no you are not talking close enough, and saying it loud enough. Basically at this point I'm screaming into the damn thing.  So this went on for 3 weeks. People would just look at me, like I was crazy. I would always have to justify this is how I have to clock in.  His business partner was working one weekend. I walked over and yelled into the register he was like, what the hell are you doing? I said, I'm clocking in, he and the dinner regulars just laughed.  Kim we don't clock in.


We were with a bunch of friends on a night cruise around Newport.  When all of a sudden this very aggressive women came over to me, which totally scares the living crap out of me. She yelled YEAH. I looked up and said, yes?  She said, you are cute, I said thank you. The closer she got the more I backed way.   My name is Bunny, (I'm thinking Bunny? Bunny with rabies maybe) What is your name, looking up at her, my name is Kim, at this point she has me pinned against the rail.  You like these don't you, pressing her chest in my face. I think at this point I went into shock.  She said, follow me, to the bathroom, I said excuse me?  She said, yeah your friend over there said you wanted me to take you into the bathroom.  You guessed it, it was Alan, of course I didn't want insult this women, I felt back that she was part of a prank. That wouldn't be funny to her, and I am too close to the edge of the boat.  She puts her arms around me and holds the rails, oh you are all talk with your friends, but you don't want to follow me to the bathroom? I couldn't even speak I was trying to find the right words to politely say no.  When she started to laugh, and she said, Kim your friend told me to do this, I said, what friend you mean, that dead one right there?  Everyone laughed, Bunny was not her real name, and she ended up being a very sweetest person and played the part well.


One day, these two men walk into the dinner.  Alan turns to me, very nervous, what are they doing here?  They aren't suppose to come today, so he goes to the cash register takes money out and comes over to me, and says follow me. He says see those two guys that just came in? I said yes. Alan places money in an envelope, and says go over sit at the table, an give this envelope to the older guy. I said, I'm not going over there, and he said, Kim I'm scared of those guys. I'm like who are they, he said, they are in the mob, they owner the juke box and cigarette machine.  Here just take it over to them, so they can get out of here, and don't let anyone see you.  So, I was like, Ok.  so I walked over I sit down next to one of the guys and I take the envelope put it on the table and slide it over to the older guy.  The guy looks at me, he said what is that?  I said, in a very low voice, it's payment.  He said, payment?  Yes, (pointing over to Alan) he wanted you to have this envelope, the guy looks at Alan, and Alan said, sir is she bothering you?  Kim what are you doing? I said, uh? I'm give him the thing.  Alan says I'm sorry sir, she is new here. Kim, we don't sit down with the customers. Can you just take their order.  I stood up took the envolope and their order.  Alan had never seen those guys before that day.


I fell for the pranks all the time, because they were random and just so out of the box, I mean, really who thinks of these things within a moments notices?